So yesterday, the sleeping was spotty. Sleepin' around 10:00, up by Noon, snoozed again 'till 2-ish then up for the rest of the day. So I knew, fatigue-wise that there is a storm comin'! ;) But the neat thing was Norah's reaction when she came home to find Daddy home and awake. She yelled, "Daddy!!!!" and JUMPED into his arms and pretty much spent the rest of the afternoon playing with him. Arvin is a really, exceptionally excellent father. He likes to play with the kids where I am more of a set it up, give them what they need and just make sure no one gets hurt, sort of parent.
Arvin helped me make dinner. This time it was good old bacon and eggs. Sometimes breakfast for dinner just hits the spot. He did the bacon, I did the eggs...I am told I flip them better...but how is it that I make everyone else's yokes turn out perfect while my own always pop? Then Arvin also helped out by giving Norah a bath. Like I said, pretty much a perfect parent. What am I here for anyway? Vacuuming and laundry services, evidently. ;) The afternoon was pretty much great and soon it was time for him to leave for work. Well fed and smellin' clean, we wished him a good night.
And then that feeling rolled in like the fog.
That "this is hard" fog.
That "I don't wanna live like a single parent" feeling.
It was a sort of a mini ripple of panicky feeling that you get just before you do something that you are not super ready to do. One quick gulp of air before dunking your head under water.
Lots of doubts crept in. I know in my heart that IF i had to do it all myself, that God would step in and give me everything I needed to get the job done. I would be sufficient in Him. He's made me strong and resourceful and full of joy and blessed me with many strong people in my life. I've had stretches where Arvin worked super long hours and all the best in me rose to the surface and I was able to hold down the fort at home. But it was lonely, hard work. And ironically, when he returned it took adjustment because I'd become accustomed to being independent. I don't know how the wives of our service men do it. God bless them. I have only sampled that dynamic and they have my respect.
And part of me feels guilty during those long-away times when I have to ask more of our son. "Can you get that ____?" "Would you help your sister _____?" "Could you please _____?" I know that he's older and it is actually for his benefit to learn to do more and more things not only for himself but to bless others as well. We are part of a family and each member does their part. But I am insecure in this area because I grew up with a mother who asked a lot of us as children, and I overcompensate by asking comparatively little of my own kids. Balance. I want to learn to keep it in balance.
Well, bedtimes for the kids went pretty well. Norah only got up once to ask for a blanket that she had wadded up and stuffed inside the oven of her play kitchen. Yea, she's odd like that. Thomas and I watched TV for awhile and then I sent him to bed around 9:00. I washed my face and went to bed, expecting a call from Arvin before I fell asleep. He said he'd try to call around 10:00. He must've been busy because the call never came.
But that was okay because the night was punctuated by other events. In between my odd dreams about Steven Tyler complaining to me about the American Idol set, both of my kids had their chance at waking me up. I was tossing and turning around midnight, when I heard music coming from my son's room. You know how just the slightest sounds seem so amplified in the calm and still of the night. It was country music. Garth Brooks to be exact. And I realized, Thomas was singing along! As my brain tuned in I realized he was actually belting out the words! "If tomorrow never comes............"! Oh good Lord. No wonder this child is so difficult to wake up in the morning! So I got up and knocked on is door. The singing halts. "Um, hey, Midnight Cowboy, can ya please turn down the music and go to sleep?" No reply. If tomorrow never comes? It already was tomorrow and he was crowin' about it! :)
Back to bed and to see what more Steven Tyler might have to say. Never did find out because and hour later Norah screams, "MOMMY! MOMMY! HELLLLLP! MOOOOOOOOOOOMY!!!!" in that blood-curdling, awful, shriek in the middle of the night that just gets a parent's heart thumpin'. So I FLY down the hall praying "Oh good Lord, is she okay? What's wrong?!?!?!?!"
The problem?
She couldn't find the right button on her radio.
What is it with these kids and their nocturnal audio entertainment?! What are we running here, a recording studio?!
Of course, as soon as I was in her room, "Oops, I found it." as the music was playing.
"Norah, don't you ever scream at me like that in the middle of the night again unless something is seriously wrong!"
I can be very unedited at night.
And after what seemed like two blinks of an eye it was 6:00 AM and the man of my dreams was trying to crawl into bed. "What are you doing?!", I said. "It's time to get up and get the kids off to school!" :) And he did help. The coffee fairy had come, the lunch fairy had come, even the Cream of Wheat Fairy appeared, which is very rare and wonderful because mom usually resorts to whatever we can fit in the toaster or cold cereal. Then we took the little musical savants to school so their teachers can try to stuff as much information as they can into those little brains in six hours. Arvin returned to bed around 8:30 and has been in there since. The storm came and he is rolling with it. :)
I had a coffee visit with Denise this morning and then went off to work in Norah's class today right after that so I didn't have that usual time to get into the Word before the day got going. But I just opened my Bible and found this:
"We also pray that you will be strengthened with his glorious power so that you will have all the patience and endurance you need. May you be filled with joy, always thanking the Father, who has enabled you to share the inheritance that belongs to God's holy people, who live in the light."
Colossians 1:11-12 (NLT)
A timely word indeed! Thank you Father for fortifying me with YOUR power so that I will have all the patience and endurance I need to be a good mom and an excellent wife. And in the process, you have blessed me with joy and and a thankful heart. I love my life. I love living in the light. Even when some of us do our best work at night. ;)
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