Zeke 'n Me

I had one of those dreams the other night.





Oh wait.





I guess I should clarify.





Not one of those "walking down the street nude" dreams.





Yet it was almost as exposing.





I dreamt that I was about to get up to the podium and speak a message at church.








And I was not prepared.





I had no idea what I was going to say when I got up there.








Do you ever have recurring dreams? What are they usually about?





I can't help wonder if God has been trying to talk to me my whole life on this one theme and I am just now getting it because he varied the dream this one time.





Usually, my recurring dream involves an emergency of some sort. Something has happened and I need to get help for someone or myself and I am usually holding a telephone in my hand in an adrenaline filled moment, I'm trying to call for help. And something always goes wrong with the phone. In my panic, I keep mis-dialing. Or the phone isn't operating correctly. Something keeps me from making that call for help and I always feel so...helpless. Useless. Like I can't come through when the chips are down and I won't ever be prepared when the time comes to "save the day".





The difference with this church dream was my internal mental impulses about the situation, my attitude. Just as I was impotent in the phone emergency dreams, I was unqualified in the speaking dream, but the way you "just know" some things in a dream without it really being explained, God allowed me to see something really not lovely about myself. The revelation? Pride. A sense of, "I got this." And that turned out to be so, so wrong. My arrogance yielded a bumbling speech that was of no use to no one and I was ashamed and humbled. Dreamland yielded a lesson for reality.

"He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord."

Deuteronomy 8: 3 (NIV)

My heart aches for the Old Testament prophets. Boy, they had a hard job to do. It must've been frustrating to say the very least to try communicate to people who really didn't want to hear what you had to say. Just a couple of days after that challenging and humbling dream, I was reading the first three chapters from the book of Ezekiel. I learned something from Zeke...he did not go in unprepared. And yet, Ezekiel's preparation was not of his own striving. Ezekiel was a 30 year old priest when he was called to something "more". In preparation for Ezekiel's greater ministry, the Lord revealed some pretty amazing things to him. So awe-inspiring in fact, that Ezekiel would fall facedown, overwhelmed in awe and worship. (Ezekiel 1:28, and 3:23)

What was really noticeable to me was the up and down physical posturing in these chapters. When you read this you'll see Zeke would fall down and even sit down ("And there, where they were living, I sat among them for seven days--overwhelmed" 3:15)...and the LORD would lift him back up. Ezekiel would need to go somewhere and the SPIRIT would move him.

"He said to me, 'Son of man, stand up on your feet and I will speak to you.' As he spoke, the Spirit came into me and raised me to my feet ..." Ezekiel 2:1

"Then the Spirit lifted me up..." 3:12

"The Spirit then lifted me up and took me away...." 3:14

"Then the Spirit came into me and raised me to my feet..." 3:24

So here's Zeke, a 30 year old priest who probably thought he had his life pretty well mapped out. And in the first three chapters of his story he is knocked down, wiped out and amazed beyond his wildest imagination. Probably everything he thought he ever really knew about God was shaken up by the Maker Himself, to the point where only the Spirit could get this quivering mass of flesh back up off the floor. God essentially says to this man, "I have a really important message that you need to deliver for me. In fact, it's so critical that I'm holding you personally responsible for the fate of these people if you don't deliver this message." (3:18) Woah. Heavy! If it were me, I'd be jumping right on that particular mission...I mean, not that I'd really WANT the job, but after all he'd seen, I bet the sense of urgency and respect for the Boss would be pretty intense. But guess what? It was a classic case of "Not so Fast Buster!"

After the Spirit picks poor Zeke up off the ground yet again in 3:24, He speaks to this messenger and says, "Go, shut yourself inside your house. And you, son of man, they will tie with ropes; you will be bound so that you cannot go out among the people. I will make your tongue stick to the roof of your mouth so that you will be silent..."

Oh Zeke! Gee, how I feel your pain! I mean, Zeke's a guy so perhaps talking a lot may not have been his game, but they do say that men use a lot fewer words each day than women, and I know from personal experience that if I have to keep quiet for too long I feel like I'm going to explode! And it's even worse if I have be be stuck at home for a long stretch. I get cabin fever and start to go nuts. Even a quick drive to take the kids to school helps me feel so much more human than if I never venture beyond the walls of the house. I do believe a woman's greatest mission field is in her own home and I for sure have enough here to keep me occupied for decades! But oh, how I sense that there is a "Part II" to this life!!! I don't have a clue what that will be, but I am so eagerly looking forward to every step of the journey! Loving the now, smiling at the future.

Anyhow, I digress. Back to Zeke. He's been pumped up and now his zipped up. What a roller coaster ride! I learned from reading the beginning of this book that there are things to learn about speaking the the Word of God. We may have indeed seen some amazing things but just blurting them out before God's done talking might not work. Listen. Take it personally. Worship and take time to be in awe because it IS that big. It IS that important. Take good notes. Let the Spirit manipulate your position. Fall down again and worship some more because you can't handle this alone. But do not be afraid. Do not be afraid. Do not be afraid. Be obedient. And then after all of that you might need to start at home. And part of that might involve just keeping your lips zipped for a time. And then! And then! Then God will speak to you and open your mouth! And then whatever comes out from there will probably be a lot more useful than if you had walked up to a podium with nothing but your ego.

Snippets

I have returned from our annual Ladies' Retreat and it was such a blessing, as always. Every time God has something new for each one of us. At our first meeting of the weekend, I had flipped around in my Bible and come across this quote in one of the margins:

"While Thee I seek protecting Power,

Be my vain wishes stilled;

and may this consecrated hour

with better hopes be filled."

Helen Marie Williams (1762-1827)

I couldn't have said it better. I had wishes, hopes, ideas, even preferences on how the weekend would or should go. I had past experiences to draw from and some expectations on how this new experience would play out based on the past. However, I really just wanted what God wanted. I wanted to learn to yield my agenda to God's because I truly do know that He has our very best interests in mind. And He sure met me in some funny ways on that note.

He knocked some of my "usuals" right out from under me. Some of them were silly preferences, like the color of my folder. Some of them deeper heart issues, like pride. I learned that it really isn't all about me! (Shocking!) And during prayer ministry time one evening, I just sat on the front row, with my eyes and mouth closed and my ears open for once. And I just sat and listened to the voices murmuring and swirling around me in prayer. Kinda-sorta-but-not-really eavesdropping, I heard not enough to make out any one's private business, but just bits and pieces of their communion with God, utterances and praises, and sweet communication with their Lord and King. It was such a beautiful sound. And while I sat there I marveled at how God can hear all of them at once and give each one of us personalized attention. So it's not really about me, but sometimes he touches the "me" in the "we".

After a quiet time of listening, I flipped through the pages of my off-colored folder to take a look at the Scriptures that our speaker had collected for us. I underlined and circled all the key phrases and words that seemed to jump off the page right into my heart, notes from God on what he wanted me to glean from this retreat. I also jotted down some of the beautiful words I heard spoken from the ladies praying around me and added some phrases from our speaker as well. The following is what came of it. I call it "Snippets".

Snippets

Living out your love

God gives us knowledge of the Holy

love

joy

peace

patience

kindness

goodness

faithfulness

gentleness

self-control

Let us keep in step with the Spirit

Set your minds on things above, not earthly things

true

noble

right

pure

lovely

admirable

excellent

praiseworthy

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus

chosen

royal

holy

not envious

not proud

not self-seeking

not easily angered

rejoicing with the truth

never failing

Devoted in brotherly love

Honoring one another above ourselves

Living in harmony with one another

Not conceited

Not proud

A soft heart

A new mind

A joyful almost secret desire.

Rise and Shine, Part II

"At midnight I rise to give you thanks for all the good things that you do.
I am a friend to all who worship you in Spirit and in Truth" ...a Keith Green Song

It's actually midnight as I write this. I woke up from what I thought was a good sound sleep and suddenly my heart and eyes blinked wide awake with thoughts of a family that recently moved on from our church body to another church. We were all sad to see them go. Wish it could've worked out differently. But I understood since I had kinda/sorta left my last church because I desperately, achingly wanted to be where we are now and if someone had told me I couldn't go, for whatever reason, I would have been miserable to the core of my being. And I would not wish that on any one. So in the wake of the departure of this family, we settle back with mixed emotions. A mix of regret and sadness but overwhelmingly a sense of peace and assurance from God that all things will work together for our good...for everyone. Wishing peace and blessings to the ones departing and knowing that we will eventually be reunited forever when our Shepherd comes to gather his flock from our many self-designed folds. In general, I think it's good that we have all sorts of different churches meeting all sort of different needs, ministering to all sorts of hearts and situations. And I pray for above all for unity and love between us all. We sang one particular song at church today that says, "everyone is welcome here". And I hope that song resonates with this particular family especially--they are always, always welcome here, sending a message of love and acceptance, no matter what. We worship the same God, after all.

Pastor spoke today about the importance of spending time with God through praise and prayer and reading the Word. I was so excited by what he was talking about that half way through his message I wished I could've stood up and shared my testimony about the subject! The focus was what we do with our mornings, the beginnings of our days, weather it be 4 AM or 10 AM. I thought it was awesome that he was talking about our mornings since I had just blogged about mornings and how much I love them. My writing wasn't focused on the super spiritual part of it totally, but of course that was there too. Connecting with God, telling him we love him, hearing him say he loves us back, and spending some time reading the Bible. Pastor mentioned how so many people say they have "no time" to read the Bible and he echoed what I have thought so many times before, that we seem to have time for those things that we really want to do. And he's right. Not to make a daily habit of Bible reading sound easy or to put aside genuine concerns of those who have incredibly busy lives. But it's amazing what happens when we decide to do something that's important, truly important to us.

At one point, I had heard this phrase that I had agreed completely described me. I was not a Christian with say for example 12 years of Christian experience. I was a Christian with 1 year of experience, 12 times. (Okay, for me it's not the 12 years...could have been more, but that's not the point.) The essence was that I was not moving forward, living deeply or fully growing or developing in my walk with God. I was treading water and getting nowhere. I loved God, I was born-again. But I really wasn't walking in the promises of God. I had bought myself a Bible in a translation that I liked. It was a pretty little Bible, covered in burgundy leather in a good size that I could carry to and from church. It would sit on my bedside table in it's pretty burgundy leather cover and get dusty from lack of use! Burgundy leather shows dust very well, I learned. And that dust was quite a testimony to me. See, I had purchased that Bible as a gift to myself to celebrate the fact that I had been baptized in the Holy Spirit and I knew that things were going to change in my life from that point on. But first, I had to dust off that book and see what God had to say to me.

It is not super critical how much you read the Word and you don't have to get all legalistic with yourself about following any sort of check-list. In fact, our Pastor reminded us to read for depth not length. To read and soak in and meditate on even a small part of God's Word each day. For different folks, we can do this in different ways that I believe are all good. For me, it was putting to use the monthly Bible reading guide that our church puts in our bulletins each month. That's just what worked for me. And I will admit, that there have been days when I have read that day's reading and have closed the book with a more than blank stare on my face because I have had no clue what I just read. But I did it anyway because I knew that it was from there that my life got its sustenance. I trust God and know what He put his word together in such a way for a very great purpose and that it is a privilege to get to peer into it.

But I tell you what, over the years, I have cultivated a daily habit of meeting with Jesus. Sitting down at the beginning of my day with my Bible in one hand, and a cup of coffee in the other. Meeting with Him and seeing what he has to say to me each day, and it has formed over time a foundation, a bedrock that I have been able to build my life upon. I have gazed at God's Word and it has transformed me. The Holy Spirit has opened my eyes each day in new ways, helping me understand things I had never understood before. God has confirmed his message to my heart in so many ways throughout my days and weeks. It's sometimes as if He's teaching me in "unit lessons" like a good teacher with a lesson plan. "Alright class, this weeks' lesson is Humility..." God has helped me to remain faithful to this habit in ways I never dreamed possible before. I have packed that little burgundy Bible on vacations and actually taken it out and read it on trips. I brought it along to the hospital when I had both of my babies. And I read it there too. Lately, I have even kept that Bible in my car and read it while waiting for my kids to get out of school.

At one point over the years, I had purchased a zip up cover for my Bible and I realized one day that it was a very good thing that I had because the binding had given way and the book was now worn out and had basically fallen apart, the cover being the one thing that was keeping my precious book together. I'm sad to see it in such shape but on the other hand I REJOICE FOR WORN OUT BIBLES!!! Oh Holy God, how I rejoice for wearing out a physical copy of your Word!!! The Bread of Life that has sustained me. The Word that had changed my life. No more dusty Bible. No more dusty heart.

I share this all not as a "wow, gee, look at me" sort of thing. Not to hold myself up as some super-spiritual extra special A student who wants a good report card....but as an honestly flawed person who knows the transforming power of taking quality time, over time, to read and meditate on God's Word for us. I know from experience that it IS possible to take that time and to read the Bible. I know it is possible to learn something new from it every single day. It's living and alive and reads me as surely as I read it. There is so much in there that I will never fully understand, even if I think I already do!, this side of heaven, but I know the heart of the author. And it's so, so incredibly good. Oh, how He loves us!

I really encourage every believer to be in the Word every single day. You will be so glad you did.

It's one o'clock in the morning now. I guess I'd better go back to bed and try to get some sleep.

Blessings.

Rise and Shine

I love the casualness of mornings.

The blinds still closed. Keeping out the eyes of the outside world so that you're still sequestered and cocooned.

The mussed up hair. The jammies. The vulnerability of who you really are. Because your mask isn't on yet.

Blankets all askew on the beds. Speaking to the humanity of your situation. Testifying that you needed comfort and warmth and rest and restoration. Marking the place where you found your dreams.

The sound of kibble hitting steel dog bowls. And the gurgle of the coffee maker preparing our motivation. The beginnings of movement and routine and responsibility.

That first streeeeetch. Murmured conversations between husband and wife. Connecting. Communicating. Planning.

That first sight of a freshly wakened young child already fully engaged in some fantasy world of play. The older child who will sleep well past noon of allowed, snoring blissfully among all the sounds of a household awakening.


Cool pillows. Warm showers. Hot coffee. Possibilities. And a fresh start. A new day.

And above all a deep, deep sense that you are deeply loved and abundantly provided for.

Snapshots

We've always had a rolling screen saver on our computer monitor that has been composed of a few specially chosen photographs that my husband would select just for that purpose. It's always been fun to see the pictures go by during the day and since our computer is kept in the living room, it's fun to share the memories with friends who are visiting. Recently, my husband did something to where the computer just brings up ALL of the photos we have stored on our computer from all the years gone by in random order. Some of them are breathtaking, iconic memories from our past, some of them are strange and odd shots that should have been deleted because no one can even identify what they are, and some of them are really silly and maybe slightly embarrassing like the time I caught my hubby in his boxers! Ooops! Should really delete that one...not especially the kind of pic I want scrolling by when I have the girls over for coffee! ;)

Half-dressed shots aside, looking back at these images really has been quite a trip down memory lane. I am starting to finally get over that gut reaction of "Ohmygoodness I looked so fat/skinny/fill-in-the blank back then!" We have all had those thoughts when looking at old pictures of ourselves, whatever the case may be. We don't realize how much we've changed over the years. After all, everyone else ages, but we stay the same, right??? But anyway, call it maturity or just a simple case of acceptance but I am starting to look beyond that now and to truly be mesmerized by these images that are meandering over my screen. My whole household has sat transfixed as we watch snapshots of our history play out before us. And it has been beautiful.

Christmases, Birthdays, trips to the pumpkin patch, field trips, fireworks, trucker's parades, trick-or-treating, family gatherings, graduations, vacations, and even and most especially, every day life. I'm almost breathless as I see pictures of our kids and our nieces & nephew roll by and see how little they were and I think about how much I love them and it just knocks me out--the depth of that love. Then you see the at the time unnoticed little expressions on their faces as they look at one another or react to something in the photo. You see time go by as baby teeth turn to missing teeth which turn to crooked pre-teen teeth. I was amazed when I saw how teeny tiny my babies really were when they were new. Seeing how tall that Lego tower was that my son built or how much fun we had on that houseboat trip even though it rained half the time. Even our pets have changed and one special one has said good-bye and we look back with fond memories.

They say that life isn't about the number of breaths you take, but the number of moments that take your breath away. And watching these images from our past has truly illustrated to me the breathtaking moments in our everyday lives. One day at a time, bit by bit, the drops that have filled the bucket of our memories are incredibly beautiful and from these memories our lives are constructed. We can't change the past, or waste time worrying about it, but we can look back and remember. Where our kids might not recall certain memories, we can hand them down in stories, almost as captions to the pictures, painting their history in words in indelible tales of our families' love and growth. We can witness God's hand as we look back on how our circumstances have changed, and we can see His greetings of love in those images of nature, that sunrise, rainbow, or wildlife that came to visit. We feel the frosty cold of the snow and the heat of that summer vacation. And it's good. It is so very good.

And what's neat is that boxer-pics excluded, there is not much that pops up on to the screen that we wouldn't mind sharing with anyone who comes by because more often than not, they're in there too, somewhere. Family and friends that have become family have made the journey so sweet. And we have lived behind our closed doors much the same way we have lived in public. Never perfect, but always growing. God centered. Home centered. Family centred.

I encourage you to try a similar experiment with your family photos. See what you can see. Take that trip down memory lane. And get a taste of how beautiful your life has been both in the special occasions and in the everyday moments.

"Dear Lord, Thank you for the Lord.

And for Jesus.

And for paper to write on.

And for toys.

Amen."

~Norah saying the blessing over dinner one random weeknight.

Just one of those days...

They say if you don't have something good to say, don't say anything at all.

This is one of those days where I am tempted to follow that adage.

And it's nothing in particular combined with everything specific.

Feeling out of balance, out of control and really thankful and hopeful all at once. Just "this side" of crazy.

I haven't been writing like I'd hoped/wanted to/planned/know I have been told to. And what's up with that?

"Time management issues", I have put it. And yes, there is some of that.

And then some of it is just outright disobedience.

And look where it has got me.

Wow.

And yet I know every thing's gonna be okay and that I am loved and all that good stuff still applies.

NOTHING can separate me from God's love. Not my bad choices, not my wasting of time, not my sometimes stinky attitude...nothing.

I was recently encouraged and appreciated and supported by two women who are mothers in my life. And I tell you what, that love has done more for my heart than all my self-condemnation ever could. That someone just takes the time to say, "Keep up the good work. Don't give up. You are loved and appreciated. You have a gift.", just makes all the difference.

God says, "Look at the birds outside. They don't even worry about where their meals come from."
And I say, "Yea, but see, we're the ones that pay for the bird seed their eating! And we probably shouldn't have spent the money!"

Ha!

See my craziness?!?!

I trust and yet I panic.

I have just enough information in me to drive myself nuts. ;) I can have great debates right within my very own soul!

I heard the beginning words of that song, "I will survive" today...you know it. And yet.

And yet. I am not just a survivor. Despite my tough days, like today, there is something so much bigger and so much more wonderful at play here.

"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:37-39 NIV

So you ever see a kid losing it...either with excitement, distraction, disobedience or fear....and the parent calmly holds that child's face in between their hands and says, "Look at me!"?

Well, that's sort of what God's doing in my heart today: "Shhhh! Look at me!" "But Lord, I'm so messed up!" "Shh! Stop." "But Father, I make all the wrong choices!" "Breathe." "But God, I'm so outta control!" "Hush now and Look at me." "But Jesus, I read your word and half the time it doesn't even make any sense and I don't know how I can possibly measure up!" "Shhhh. Enough. Hush."

Musings while walking & shopping on a Friday...

Dear Lord,


Please bless those who smile while shopping. Bless those who are polite and cheerful. Those people who are considerate of others. And those who pass you on the sidewalk and smile and say "hello", just because it's the friendly thing to do. Thank you for the people who are happy in their work and let it be known by their kind demeanor. Thank you for congenial conversations between strangers in stores. For answered directions or a polite nod. Reward those who put dropped items back on shelves or racks, where they belong. And an extra special blessing for drivers who keep an eye out and wait for pedestrians to cross the street! Thank you for those who sing cheerfully and with so much expression in their cars. And please send a ray of sunshine to the ones who pick up after their pooches. Oh God, please truly bless them!
Lord, I pray a special prayer for the moms shopping with their young children. Please fill them with your joy and peace to overflowing. Give them wisdom and kind and gentle hearts. May their little ones be happy, healthy, content and well-rested. And may these special women find that their every need is met in an affordable way. Give them supernatural shopping skills as they search for and select the items they need to bless their families. Set up great deals right in their paths. Let their dollars go farther than they ever imagined.
As we shop, let us keep others in mind and may we find something small, or even something big, to buy and bless someone else with. Keep us thoughtful and mindful of others. Let us love one another.
And for those who go about their errands with less than joyful hearts, Lord God, I pray for your healing touch in their lives today. For those stressed, grouchy, needy, and even angry ones...I know inside you made a gem and I pray that they will shine again for you. Restore their smiles. Work miracles on their behalf. Bring them gently to the end of themselves so they can depend fully upon You. Fill their cup, I pray Lord. Turn their days upside down--give them joy abundantly!!! And may they truly know You, from whom all their blessings flow.
Bless our comings and our goings. Bless every dime that we spend and every step that we take. Help us live a life of integrity Lord God, so that the kindness we extend in public is duplicated in private as a reflection of your holy character in us.



In Jesus Name I pray, Amen!

"May the words of my mouth

and the meditation of my heart

be pleasing in your sight,

O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer."

Psalms 19:14 (NIV)

Workin' for a Livin'

"If I work really really hard for a private company, I'm considered a good worker and a hero. If I work really really hard for the government, I'm considered a leech on the system and I'm taking advantage. Sadly, I am starting to get used to being treated like a villain. But all I really want is to get paid for the work that I do." ~A State of California (Department of Transportation)Employee

It's important to remember that we sometimes don't see the whole picture. We need to realize that we don't have all the facts. Perception is not always reality. And contrary to the old saying, ignorance is not bliss. There might be something you don't know about a certain situation. And if you were further educated about it, you would have a very different perspective.

Imagine being hired to do a job. You have been college educated for this position and passed a very rigorous screening process to qualify. And you work your tail off to excel at your work, often working above and beyond your official duties. Soon, you become capable in all facets of your job, even your boss's job. You are so good at your work, not only do you "earn your own keep", but you literally save your employer tens of thousands of dollars. Your work is difficult both mentally and physically and you are constantly in danger of physical harm. You commute over an hour both to and from work. And often at the end of a 12 hour day, the cell phone continues to ring. And you answer it. Because the job demands it. The work is challenging, the days are long, but you do it because you deep down inside you actually love this job, and you are compensated well for it.

And then things change.

Your pay is cut. And that overtime you put in? Yea, you are still gonna need to do that--but you will no longer be paid for it. In fact, they require you to work some days with no pay at all.

And the public?

The public thinks that you're lazy.

That you're a mooch.

That you don't deserve all your "perks". They think you should have your pay cut. In fact, many outright say you should be fired. And not only does this cause you to merely feel unappreciated, but vilified.

That's the common experience lately for many State government employees.

We've all heard the cliches. "Ten guys standing around one shovel." And we think that's reality.

What we don't see are the faces of all the hard working individuals that help provide those things which we so readily take for granted.

We don't feel that punch and that pull from both sides that they do:

"You're working too much."

"You're lazy."

"You earn too much."

"You need to get this emergency job done now because a whole town has been cut of from the world and they're running out of food and fuel."

"This road is trashed and full of potholes!"

"It takes too long to wait for this road construction!"

The message is: "Do whatever it takes. But not that."

And we forget that state workers are tax payers too. That even though we cut their pay, they still have bills of their own, just like the rest of us. Mortgages do not go on furlough. There is still the need to put bread on the table. Not looking for welfare, just wanting to be paid for an honest day's work, not a mooch on the system, but the very backbone of it, these are the hard working men and women who keep us moving.

"Pay your taxes, too, for these same reasons. For government workers need to be paid so they can keep on doing the work God intended them to do." Romans 13:6 (NLT)

There is a lot that I wish that government would just get out of our way and let us take care of ourselves. We can be quite resourceful when we need to. For example, I do not feel the need to have my garbage and recycling services mandated to me, right down to how I prepare items before I put them into the bins. However, there are some things that I truly appreciate that government provides for me that I would not otherwise be able to accomplish. Law enforcement. Defense. Infrastructure.

And it is my opinion that not paying workers, government or otherwise, is not only illegal, but unethical and immoral as well. There is a word for uncompensated labor and it's called slavery.

"Do not take advantage of a hired man...Pay him his wages each day...because he is...counting on it. Otherwise he may cry to the Lord against you, and you will be guilty of sin." Deuteronomy 24:14, 15 (NIV)

"Do not hold back the wages of a hired man overnight." Leviticus 19:13 (NIV)

"'So I will come near to you for judgement. I will be quick to testify against...those who defraud laborers of their wages,' says the Lord Almighty." Malachi 3:5 (NIV)

"Now when a man works, his wages are not credited to him as a gift, but as an obligation." Romans 4:1 (NIV)

"Look! The wages you failed to pay the workmen who mowed your fields are crying out against you. The cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord Almighty." James 5:4 (NIV)

I do believe that there is a lot of waste in government, and that waste should be trimmed. Let us look closely at what we need and what we do not need. And let us do that with an eye for what would be best for the people as a whole. It would be in our ultimate best interest to have qualified, driven and successful people doing the work of our state. The very least we can do is justly compensate these folks for their hard work. That, and be grateful for their labor.

If you have questions about things you see, ask them. Learn more. Educate yourself about what goes on at a job site. Leave your prejudices and worn out cliches behind. You might just be amazed at what you learn and walk away, or rather drive away on a nice smooth road, with a new appreciation for what you've seen.

"Set up road signs; put up guideposts. Take note of the highway, the road that you take."

Jeremiah 31:21 (NIV)

Mercy!

Is this normal?

Or is it just common?

There's a difference, I've realized.

It has just been one of those days.

One of those rush, rush, rush days.

One of those survive it with a smile and you get a prize at the end days!

I had a test in patience today.

And I believe I earned a failing grade.

I'm dreading the make-up test.

I have heard that patience is not the ability to wait, but it's your attitude while waiting.

My attitude was not good. Not good at all.

I had very little mercy going on in my brain.

Outside, smile.

Inside, "AREYOUKIDDINGME!!!IDON'THAVETIIIIMEFORTHISSSSSSS!!!!!"

And it was so not good.

Oh how I need more work!

I need to be cleaned out again.

Washed.

From the inside out.

Mercy. Mercy. Mercy.

Because even if I smile on the outside, if there's that much ugly on the inside, it's gonna wiggle itself out at some point, somewhere, and really is just evidence of my need to grow up.

It's not all about me.

That person on the phone really does have a life outside of making me happy.

And they probably have a really good story to tell too.

A journey mixed with love and stress and a family and dreams and some pain too.

One good thing: Today God helped me choke out a prayer for someone I really don't like.

It's true.

I didn't want to pray for that person.

That person annoys me.

(Mercy issue again.

The lesson du jour!)

But alas, I really did offer up a heartfelt prayer for that person. That whatever they needed in life, God would help them fill it.

And so it goes.

A little bit backward, a little bit forward....






P.S. Guys, if you are reading this, out there somewhere in the great beyond, I would really love to hear from you! A person gets kinda lonely putting this out there and just hearing crickets. So please chime in! I wonder if any one's reading this at all. If not, that's okay because it's really more an exercise for my own development and faithfulness. But if someone somewhere is getting anything out of this, that sure would be encouraging. I saw we have someone reading from Canada and from South Africa! How cool is that!? Wonderful! Blessings to you all.

XO
K

How I Met Your Father

Kids, I want to tell you the story about how your father and I met. You've probably been watching us for years now, picking up little bits and pieces of our story and you might have some questions. Or maybe you just imagine that we've always been together since the beginning of time and that's that. :) Whichever it is, I think that you might benefit from hearing our story because I do believe it is an excellent road map for love and life.
It turns out that over our growing up years, your dad and I actually had many near meetings. We were born in the same hospital, two years apart. He's older than I am (and I don't let him forget that). We were raised in the same town, Eureka, Ca. We both attended the same elementary school (for one year), the same jr. high school (for one year), and the same high school, but our paths did not cross until...well, my earliest memory of your dad was when I was a sophomore and he was a junior and we actually had the same Biology class. That teacher was so lame! He actually had us coloring pictures in HIGH SCHOOL Biology! But whatever! We didn't really meet until the following year...
I was singing in the school choir and at the time another group called Mixed Ensemble (which at that time wasn't so mixed because we just happened to end up a whole bunch of girls that year!) and somehow I invited your dad to come & see our Christmas concert. He was so cute back then you guys...he actually had a PERM back then--thick, curly dark hair...and whatever he says, and he will hotly deny it, but he had a MULLET too! He drove a white Mustang with red interior. And I think he had a mustache since he was like ten years old or something funny like that. I remembering him being a very "nice guy". One of those "nice guys" that no one really takes notice of, ya know? I thought, why not invite him to the concert for fun? And he actually showed up. And then, the very next morning, he actually arrived at my house with a big ol' bouquet of mini carnations! Just because. Because he was that kinda guy--a nice guy.
Well, right away, your Grammie was QUITE impressed. She was saying things like, "Kiki, you need to ask him out! He's SUCH a gentleman!" And of course, I was opposed to anything my mom would have to say! (Like a good teenager! Ha!) "Oh no, mom...he's not my type. He's just a friend. Besides, he talks kinda slow....", I said. Ha! It's true. I actually said that. I'm so weird sometimes.
So, kids, listen to this next part, because it really shows how God sets things up, and usually without any effort on our own part, and mostly DESPITE our own best efforts...for our own benefit.
The next month was the upcoming Junior Prom. I had had a date planned for over a month with this other boy who was a friend of mine. I had purchased the tickets and even pre-paid for the picture package and had a dress already. I was really looking forward to a fun night. Well, over the Christmas break, my friend found himself a girlfriend who went to another school. And she flat out told him that there was NO WAY he was going to go to a prom with some other girl! Looking back, I guess this was an understandable thing. However, it left me high and dry, just a few weeks away from the prom with no date. I was so bummed! But I wasn't going to let it stop me.
In typical high-school-girl fashion, I knew I wanted to invite your dad, but I was too shy to come right out and ASK him myself. So I had a friend call him instead. Again, I am such a dork! :) So he calls me up and basically asks, "So what's this I hear about you wanting to go to the prom with me?" And so it was set. We'd go to the Junior Prom together. It was January 25th, 1992. The theme of the prom was "Romance & Roses".
We went out in his white Mustang to dinner at OH's Townhouse. It was a great little old steakhouse in town that is now closed, unfortunately. They needed a remodel for like a zillion years, but you could still always get good service. Anyway, there we sat in their dark interior, next to red velvet wall paper, eating fried prawns and drinking a roy rogers (your dad) and a shirley temple (me). It was fun. Then we went to the prom. It was at the Adorni Center. (Where Thomas has had basketball practice!) I remember having a good time at that prom, dancing and being silly together. And I looked good in my purple dress! I don't think I'll ever let Norah out of the house in a dress like that though...what was my mom thinking??? :)
Anyway, after the prom, we decided to go out to the beach for a moonlight walk...We went out to the Samoa Peninsula and watched the waves crashing. It was cold, so your dad let me wear his tuxedo jacket. And to this day, he will deny this too!!--but he was the one who kissed me FIRST. He swears I kissed, him, but don't listen to him. I am your mother and I tell you the truth. ;)
We had a wonderful first date and have been together ever since. I was just sixteen years old and he was just 18. In all, we went to four proms together before we were both out of high school. Every thing was a special occasion, I guess. I know you guys are maybe a bit wondering how it was that we found each other so young and how it worked out because some people will tell you that's "too young". Perhaps for some people it is. Because at that age, you really don't know who you are yourself, much less how to relate and connect with another person very well. This is another example of how God works things out for our own good.
Shortly after our first date, I was out in the backyard at home, desperately trying and failing to mow our awful jungle of a lawn, that was pitted with ditches and holes, with a push mower of all things!! (Maybe I'll have to look one up on the Internet to show you what this is. You might not have a clue.) But it was a worthless hunk of junk and I was getting nowhere. It was frustrating work and I was feeling so upset and not a little unlike Cinderella because I had a lot of chores to do and life was just really tough for me at that time. I was practically in tears over this mowing fiasco. And then comes your dad. My Knight in Shining Armor. My Prince. He just happened to stop by to say hello and he found me bedraggled and upset and and about to lose my mind over this push mower. And he saved me. He took over. He pushed that contraption and made it work and he mowed that huge mess of a yard for me! He stepped in and he rescued me. He soothed me. And he made it all better.

And he's been doing that ever since, kids. He's never stopped.

And the main thing has been that it's not WHAT he does, but WHY. It's because he's a gentleman. It's because he loves. It's because sometimes being a man means you have to step up and do the hard work. You do the right thing. You take care of those you love.

And that's how my heart knew at even just sixteen years old, that he was a SAFE PLACE for me to land. Here's the man that honored his parents, who worked hard at his job, who was a good student, who brought be flowers "just because", who opened my car door, who rescued me from that jungle lawn. And all because that was just the nature of his character.

My Gramma, your Great-Gramma, asked me once in those early months if your dad was a Christian or not. I said, "I don't know yet Gramma, but you know what? He's the most Christ-like person I have ever met." And it's true. He loved me like Christ loves the Church. And that's exactly what the Bible says a husband should love like. And your father has demonstrated his love for both me and for the Lord every day since.

We dated for two years before he proposed to me on my 18th birthday. He'd actually taken the time to ask Grandpa for my hand in marriage. And let this little tid-bit go down in family history--your Grandpa actually tried to TALK HIM OUT OF IT! Ha! :) Yea, he said something to the effect of, "Are you sure??? Because she's a really strong-willed girl..." Thanks, DAD. ;)

I remember the day your dad proposed. I just KNEW that he was going to ask me to marry him, and I was excited and was happy...and really, really nervous. So nervous that I kept stalling. Kept coming up with things to delay him asking. I kept getting up from dinner and going to the ladies room, etc. Finally, we ended up down at the Amphitheater, right next to the Adorni Center, right back to the "scene of the crime", so to speak. And there he asked me to marry him and I said yes.

Another year went by and then we were married on August 6, 1995. I cried the whole time I said my vows because I always cry when I talk about things that are important to me.

I recently had a conversation with a woman who has been praying to God for a husband for years. She's a very nice lady, but she's tired of having to do everything on her own. She knows that God is providing everything she needs, and she is joyful in her process of waiting for the man God has for her. But she knows how wonderful it would be to have a partner in life. And I totally knew what she meant. I take great comfort in the fact that I get to live life under the provision and protection of your father. I can rest in the fact that we are a team. That your dad can take care of the "hard stuff" that I cannot, and I can take care of the little details that he can't. We compliment one another. I can't imagine what life would be like without him. I love that I have a best friend to share things with. That we're two very different people, and yet we seem to share the same basic temperament and values. We may not always agree on things and we may often drive each other nuts, but we know that together, we are home. We are family.

I hope my children, that when you look back on what you've seen us model for you that you can see some good stuff that you will want to take into your own lives. I hope you can see in your dad a man that loves his wife and I hope that you see in me a woman that respects her husband. I pray that the tapestry we have woven for you is solid so that you can spring from it in confidence, knowing what real love actually looks like. We are hopelessly imperfect, and I pray that grace covers all of our many mistakes. I hope that you take what you've seen and hold it up for a standard in what you want in your own lives. I hope that you are loved as much as I have been loved by your father. Just know that we will always look at you both and see the very best of ourselves.

Multum in Parvo

"Dogs are miracles with paws." ~Attributed to Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy

"Dogs' lives are too short. Their only fault, really." ~Agness Sligh Turnbull

"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole." ~Roger Caras

"Happiness is a warm puppy." ~Charles M. Schulz

"Some ask why is it that dogs don't live very long, and they say it's so that we can have a lot of dogs in our lives....But I know how much we wish it could be just one." ~Our veterinarian, Dr. Jeff Kelly-Day on the day that we went to put Maddy the Pug to sleep, August 30, 2010

Multum in Parvo.

It is Latin and it means "much in little".

That is the phrase most used in describing the breed of dog called Pug. And it's a perfect way to describe this dog.


My husband was attracted to the breed because they are tough little dogs. Small, yet fierce. And not yappy. They can bark, a low, distinguished alert, without even moving their lips. A "wohmph!" sound. They are pretty low-maintenance as far as dogs go. They require very little food, exercise, grooming or space. They are not working dogs. They are not driven to "do" anything other than to be your friend. They do not need a job to do. And they are not particularly super intelligent, which is actually a good thing because that means they are not super inclined to get themselves into trouble if they are bored of left alone. They are content to sleep many hours a day in a warm patch of sun. Excellent for working people. People say that they are "so ugly, they are cute". I couldn't disagree more. I see a Pug and I think, Regal. Beautiful. Expressive. Special. You don't miss them in a crowd. And you certainly can't overlook one in your own home. Even if you were blindfolded, you'd know it was there...by the sounds. The constant snorting, snuffing and snoring. After awhile you forget that "normal dogs" don't make these sounds. It is a great symphony of life!

We picked our Maddy out of a litter of seven pups. We wanted a female dog and she was the only one still available. She was the runt. When we brought her home at six weeks old, she fit in the palms of our hands. Her little face was so black that in photographs you could not make out her eyes. She was so tiny that when she'd try to go potty, the sheer force of the effort would cause her back legs to lift up off the ground! I thought something was wrong with her, perhaps she was deformed. :) But she grew out of that, eventually. We tried keeping her in her crate at night. Oh the wailing! Oh the whining! Oh the drama! Eventually, she spent her nights in the laundry room, where she eventually learned that her life was not over when it was bedtime. Later, we discovered that Pugs are one of THE MOST DIFFICULT breeds to potty train. As it turned out, it was much like having a child--TWO YEARS or so before Maddy finally got it. Oh my gosh!!! Awful.

And a couple of years later, we noticed a red spot near her collar, and then some hair loss and then some itching.....and some more hair loss and some more itching.....and so began the allergies that plagued Maddy the rest of her days. And we tried eeeeeeeverrrrrrrything. Three different vets, special diets, skin biopsies, steroids, expensive prescription shampoos, supplements, cleaning products, medicines, and probably thousands of dollars later, and it was just "one of those things" that we all had to manage & deal with. We tried, we really, really tried. Poor girl.

But the early days of potty training and the years of managing an unknown allergy were only the tough parts. There were years and years of wonderful memories. I heard once that the very best way to grieve a loss is to just talk about it. It's the best way to honor the memory and know that healing is happening. Because if you don't talk about it then healing is not happening. If you're not willing to "go there", and maybe even cry a bit over it, then you're stuck.

I don't wanna be stuck.

Not over this dog, and not over anything in this life.

So I'm gonna set an example here and take out my emotions and LOOK at them. I'm gonna grieve, in words. And so go on with life.

Madison Ann Lal, Pug Extraordinaire was born on July 19, 1998 and lived to be 12 years old. We said good-bye for now to her on August 30, 2010. We called her Pug a lot. Or Puggy. Or Pugus-Among-Us. Maddy. Madd-Ann. Madacino.

She was a year old when our son was born. Perfect timing. She would sit on the arm of the sofa when I would nurse my son, standing guard over us. If a car dared to drive by, she'd go over to the window, dispatch a warning bark, and dutifully return to our side. When Thomas was a toddler and just learning to crawl, he'd chase after her and her little half-curled tail (her tail never curled they way a "proper" Pug's tail should curl) would inevitably whack him in the face, and then from time to time, she'd turn around and lick him in his little baby face and he'd be appalled! "Well son, what did you expect?", I'd ask. When he was a bit older, maybe two years old, Maddy was sitting down at the threshold of the open back door, surveying her kingdom, the back yard, when Thomas came up beside her, put his little arm around her back, looked out to the yard and said, "How's it going, doggy? How's it going?" I can still see their silhouette. Our neighbor was a mail carrier and she still managed to have a special soft-spot for dogs. She would keep a box of treats just for Maddy.

Maddy LOVED to chase birds. It was her Passion. Her reason for LIFE. I have never witnessed a creature so majestic, so sure of herself, as Maddy in pursuit of a bird. She was determined to capture one. We teased her about what might become of her if she ever did find success in that area. She gave them a piece of her mind, even into her elder years. I can still see her at the sliding glass door, standing straight and alert, dispatching her fierce, low Pug-barks. She WAS multim in parvo. She lived her destiny every single day.

We used to offer her table scraps. I would give my husband the excuse, "It's good for her coat!" whatever it was that I was feeding her...cheese, eggs, etc. Yea right. But one thing we did especially always share with Maddy was our Chinese food. We reasoned that because Pugs originated from China that she'd appreciate some food from her "homeland". ;)

When Maddy was younger, we'd take her on walks. She actually did have a lot of energy in her earlier years. Looking back, it's kind of foggy now, but she was even so excited when company came over that she pretty much needed to be in another room for awhile. My son doesn't even remember that, but it's true. But then gradually, she'd slow down a bit. We would be walking awhile and she'd just stop. Just put on the pug-breaks. And stop. And sit. And that was it. It was as if she was saying, "Just go on without me guys. This is where I stop. Nice to have known ya." Silly girl. Or smart girl, I guess, because she'd get carried all the way back home.

I remember trying to trim her black toenails. Oh my gosh. One time I cut too close and nicked the blood supply! Oh I felt so terrible!!!!! I didn't have any of that special powder on hand to stop the bleeding, so it just needed to stop on it's own. Whatta scene! From then on, it was trips to the groomers where professionals could do the work.

We took her camping once. She was a good girl. She liked to sleep right between our sleeping bags in a warm, soft spot. The Stellar's Jays would swoop down and eat all her dog food. She never did catch one of them either.

In her early years, she had a special spot on the couch that was hers. She'd sleep on that pillow all day when we were at work. Eventually, I got tired of cleaning the couch so she had to live on the floor, like a dog. Poor thing. ;)

My husband especially appreciated Maddy's care-taking and devotion when he was feeling under the weather. He'd lay on the couch, and Maddy would lay right on top of him, keeping him warm and making sure he was okay. She was a good dog. A good, good dog.

Maddy came in handy while raising little kids. In addition to keeping our yard clear of any pesky birds she would find her duty in stationing herself directly beneath the high-chair, keeping a keen alert for any stray crumbs that would fall. A dust-buster with legs. She'd hoover up anything that hit the floor. I remember one time I was getting a jar of spaghetti sauce out of the refrigerator and it fell and hit the rug in front of the door and sauce was everywhere!!!!! Maddy to the rescue!!! That dog licked that rug so clean that I think it was in better condition AFTER she'd cleaned up than before! That was Maddy, always there to help out whenever needed.

When we brought our kids home from the hospital, she administered a very thorough sniff, inspection, welcoming them into the pack. And oh how she would love to nestle in any blankets that fell to the floor from Thomas' bed.

One Easter, while most everyone was out back watching the egg hunt, I was in the kitchen slicing ham and talking to one of my brothers. A pretty good-sized slice of ham fell and hit the floor and of course, Maddy was all over that! And that stupid little dog, multum in parvo to the max, got herself in some big trouble because she literally bit off more than she could chew. She choked on that ham and even fell over! I remember exhchanging a look with my brother that basically said, "Oh crap! What do we do?!" Eventually, she recovered on her own and I managed to get the ham away from her and cut it up for her. Oh good grief, that dog!

I started walking fairly regularly for quite some time, a year or more, and I'd try to take Maddy along, but her stamina wasn't really there as she began to age. I wanted a walking partner. So along came Belle. A ten week old yellow Labrador Retriever. Maddy would rather we had not made THAT decision. She did not appreciate this kid--at all! She made it known, in no uncertain terms that yes, she would like Belle to take a walk, yes indeed--a long walk, off a short pier. Maddy was about eight years old at that time and she gave that stupid yellow pup many stern talking-to's. I regret not socializing her more when she was younger. It would have helped. But eventually, the two dogs made their peace and they found a wonderful common interest.

Sunbathing!

Glorious sunbathing! Countless morning hours whiled away soaking in the warmth of the sun streaming through the sliding glass door. First in the living room, then as the sun would shift in the sky, they'd mosey on to the bedroom to take advantage of the best light. They'd lay mostly apart , but sometimes touching, Maddy almost nested right up against her former nemesis...all in the pursuit of warmth. I'd love to see how Maddy's sweet, wrinkled face would look when she layed her head down between her paws, totally blissed out by the comforting warmth of the sun and a good nap. Whatta way to live!

Twelve years. Three moves. Two children. One Lab. Lots of Chinese food.....

One tumor.

She had a lump on her side and we didn't know what it was at the time and eventually it burst and it bled and we took her to the vet and they removed it and sent it off for a biopsy. "Maddy has a very bad cancer. I'm worried about her. It could be weeks, or it could be months" , said the vet. She had a heck of a time recovering from her surgery. She wouldn't eat. Wouldn't even get up. We wondered, "Is this it? Is it time?" "The difference between a minor surgery and a major surgery is that when it happens to someone else, it's a minor surgery, but when it happens to you it's a major surgery. This to Maddy is a major surgery. It's like putting a 90 year old woman thorough this and it's just gonna take some time for her to recover.", said our vet. He was a very gentle advocate for her. For doing what was the very best thing for Maddy and the most reasonable thing for us as well. With his encouragement, we nursed Maddy back to to life and she enjoyed a few more wonderful months of love and comfort with us. She barked at birds again. She gained her appetite again.

We let her eat anything she wanted to--because why not? What are you saving it for anyway? When your days are numbered, and all of ours are, take it all in! Take in all the joy you can!

She was much better. For awhile. Then we noticed that when she went out to go potty, she'd run into things. She'd get lost. She'd walk around in circles. And we realized, she couldn't see. She couldn't find her way back. And we just knew.

They said we'd know when. And we did.

It was the first day of school. We took our kids to school, kissed them, wished them well, and walked out of the school. Not even to the car yet, I called the vet on my cell phone. "Maddy's not doing well, and we were wondering if the doctor can see her." They got us in a half hour later. We wrapped her in her blanket. And the doctor agreed. It was time. He left us alone with her for a few minutes and we sobbed like babies. I sat in a corner flipping through the pages of a magazine...desperate for any distraction from reality. Arvin was so very good to her. He held her, and cried over her, and loved on her, and so beautifully prayed over her, finding words where I could not. He was so brave. Words are usually my medium, but when it came to this time of good-bye, I couldn't even speak. I remember standing up and putting my face down right to Maddy's. Just feeling her velvet fur, face to face, and nodding my head, hoping and trying to send a heart message to her, that's everythying's gonna be okay, that it's alright. That we loved her very very much. One thing I did manage to speak that day to Arvin and to the doctor was, "It's still worth it. It's still worth it. It's still worth it."

We brought her home in a nice box that the office provided with a lovely label on the top signed with the names of all the staff. We put the box down for Belle to smell. And she did. Thouroughly. She knew.

And Arvin was such a champ. He and Thomas prepared a wonderful resting place for our puggy. Right beneath our maple tree, in the sun, where she'd like to soak in the warming rays. Norah tossed a few jasmine flowers in for her, and Arvin planted new grass seed above her and it's flourishing and beautiful and green.

We miss our girl.

We talk about her a lot. And we can do it more and more without dipping down into too much sadness....though it's still there a bit. We're beginning to share memories of her and remember all those good times.

It was an absolute honor to share life with that little creature for twelve years. Many dogs do not get that lucky to have had the life she had. To be loved and cared for by one forever family all their days. Many people do not get that lucky to have enjoyed the companionship of a good dog, much less the incomprable joy of Pugdom. We knew when we brought her home that someday we'd have to say good-bye. And saying good-bye to her was one of the saddest things we've had to face. But the journey from hello to good-bye was so, so incredibly worth it.

Life is worth it.

Some say that dogs are in our lives to teach us something. What I learned from Maddy was: to enjoy sweet comforts, take time to rest, be bold when you need to and to always protect those you love.

And now that she's resting under the maple tree, she managed to teach me something else as well:

Love is never convenient.

It's never easy.
It's often messy
and certainally painful at times.
But it's worth it.

And life...

life is short.

So let's go out and give and get as MUCH LOVE as our hearts can hold, every single day we have breath.

I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Fresh Breath

Spirit--the Bible Dictionary defines it as wind or breath.

2 Thes. 2:8 (NIV) "And then the lawless one will be revealed, whom the Lord Jesus will overthrow with the breath of his mouth..."

John 20:22 (NIV) "And with that he (Jesus) breathed on them and said, 'Receive the Holy Spirit.'"

Genesis 2:7 (NIV) "...the Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being."

Song of Solomon 7:8 (NIV) "May...the fragrance of your breath (be) like apples..."




Today when I sat down to ask the Lord what I should write about, I put on a song to settle my mind and really sit still and listen for God's voice. His inspiration. His idea. The bread for today. I chose a favorite artist who's songs I turn to at times like this, when a calm heart and an open mind are in order. Not songs that just let my thoughts wander willy-nilly...but when I want to focus on the goodness of God. Some call this type of music, "soaking music". The artist's name is Grace Williams and the song is titled "Breathe on Me" from an album called "Deep Waters". I searched on youtube for it to post a link for you, but couldn't find that particular song. I urge you to seek it out, if interested. That whole album has been a sweet place of refreshing for me. But anyway, in this song, she sings to the Lord that she wants him to Breathe on her. To fall on her. That when her day is over and done she's still gonna need Him some more--cause He's the only one that satisfies. It's a beautiful song that often echoes the cry of my heart.

I'd learned a long time ago that the Holy Spirit, that word "Spirit" in the Bible often is translated "Wind" or "Breath". I think of the Breath of Heaven...The Wind storm at Pentecost, etc. When it's a particularly blustery day outside, I am reminded of the Spirit of God moving and I encourage Him to sweep through and shake things up. Knock the dead leaves outta the branches and such.

Breath hasn't always been a wonderful or especially spiritual thing for me....in fact, in some ways, it represents the uttermost dark and ugliest moments of my life. The pit. (But our God is the Redeemer, isn't He?) God has healed me in that area, and ironically, I spent many years actually working in people's mouths! (I was a dental assistant for 11 years.) People breathing on me--all the time!!! And I admit, I am still not particularly fond of the sensation of some one's breath hitting my face, even if it's fresh breath, which it rarely is. I flinch. I hold my own breath. And I need to remind myself of God's work in my life. And that breath is good. That life is good. And I ask Him again, to Breathe on me. To whisk away the debris of the past with His Spirit. It's a kind of "reality check".


As a whole, we spend a lot of time pursuing things that give us fresh breath. We have toothpaste and floss and mints and gum and mouthwash.....all good pursuits! Even our pets have a whole assortment of products available to help them out in that arena (and boy do they need it!). Halitosis reigns! And we have come up with some pretty clever ways to deal with it. And what we wouldn't do for the refreshing taste of a York Peppermint Patty! ;) Even Job's wife had something to say about her husband's breath, evidently..."My breath is offensive to my wife..." (Job 19:17)

And you can tell a lot about someone from their breath. What they've been eating (garlic!). What they've been drinking (too much!). If they just completed a 4 mile run (the dog panting!!). You can even tell if someone might be a diabetic by the sweet aroma of their breath. Another sort of "reality check".

(I just popped in a piece of mint gum without even consciously thinking about it! Ah!!!)

But I am so glad, so grateful that God breathed His life into dust. That He is so big that he can do that. That He sustains me each day with His Breath, His Spirit, His Wind. That someday Jesus will return and with the very breath of His mouth, destroy all of His enemies. I'm glad that God has fresh breath.

"The Spirit of God has made me; the breath of the Almighty gives me life." Job 33: 4 (NIV)

The Land of the Living

"I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living."

Psalm 27:13 (NIV)

There's a lot that is bad in this world. Evil does exist.

And yet.

There is still so much that goes right.

There are so many impressive people

who love

who give

who hope

who smile

who forgive

who do the right thing.

There are still everyday moments

that become holy.

A firefighter raising our flag in the morning.

A dad cheering on his son.

A woman planning meals to nourish her family.

There are reasons to smile.

There is hope.

There is goodness.

Right now.

In the Land of the Living.

Rebel

I read a blurb today in some random article in the news about what your choice in car color might say about your personality. Of course the "experts" in this MUST know what they're talking about, right? If you read it in the news it MUST be the gospel truth, riiiight?

Well, it they broke it down like this:

Black--you are aggressive and a rebel.
Silver--you are cool, calm and may be a loner
Green--you are reactive
Yellow--you are idealistic
Blue--you are introspective, reflective and cautious
Red--you are full of energy and pizazz
White--you are a status seeker & gregarious
Cream--you are contained and controlled

I had to chuckle at this...because I have a black car and never until that moment had I ever thought of myself as an aggressive rebel. Most people who know me would not reach for the words "aggressive" or "rebel" if they were asked to describe me. Oh, no. I look reeeeeeeal nice.

On the outside.


And then there's the dark side. That girl who chose the black car side. I didn't only just pick it off the lot, oh no! I especially REQUESTED it. They special ordered it from another lot--just for me. Miss Rebel in the black car. It's like I just went outta my way for trouble! I mean, who in their right mind would ASK for a BLACK car that shows every speck of dust?! I get questioned all the time, "Is that hard to keep clean?" And ya know what I tell 'em? "I run it through the car wash once a month and don't worry about the rest." I try not to get, as my friend Theresa puts it, "all nutted up" over the clean-thing. I have to lower some standards just for sanity's sake. Because I tell you what, despite the fact that it's almost perpetually imperfect, when a black car is clean, it is something to behold! "Formal Black" is the official color of my paint and I think that fits it perfectly because in my opinion, black takes any car and just dresses it up a notch. It makes the ordinary look special. And I love it. I love how impractical it is! Hey, I guess I AM a bit of a rebel then!

There is something so sublime about the unnecessary, the just because. There are things on this earth that happen and we wonder why??? And something echos back, "Why not?" I think sometimes some of us feel guilty for taking pleasure in things. Guilty pleasures. Why is that?

Are we so accustomed to the idea that we must be uncomfortable to be behaving ourselves that we cannot even imagine ourselves indulging in the "black cars" of life? I hear this phrase all the time about how even God wants to "get us out of our comfort zone". I've even used that phrase! And it drives me nuts! Because wouldn't you think that a perfect, loving God, might actually WANT us to be comfortable? That He might actually WANT us to be happy? Happy Christians might actually be attractive people, dont'cha think?! Someone might take a look at them and think, "What is it they have that I want?" And I'm not talking about your stuff here, either.

Shifting from 'things' to heart matters....if you are in a rut of unhappiness, could it be that you've never allowed yourself to be happy? Did you realize that you can actually CHOOSE your attitude? Colossians 3:1-3 (NIV) says, "Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God."

Take a minute today to look around you at the good things in life. Count your blessings, literally. Revel for just a moment in WHY those things or those people or relationships are so special to you. Actually ADMIT to your deepest heart why you are grateful for them. And remember WHO you are grateful TO. SET YOUR MIND on the things above. Every good and perfect gift is from above. To quote Veggie Tales, "A happy heart is a grateful heart."

I'd love to hear back from you. What you are thankful for today. What you thought about that funny list of car colors & personalities--and if any of it applies to you!

I'm off now to go do something rebellious and aggressive....maybe I'll leave a black sock in with the whites load....watch out!!!!